WFWP Canada discusses How to Achieve the Value of Love in Online Webinar

WFWP Canada discusses How to Achieve the Value of Love

By: Christine Ranisavljev

On February 26, 2024, WFWP Canada hosted an online webinar from 7:30 - 9:00 PM  EST via Zoom. There were 44 participants. The panel included Peter Mubambe [University of Winnipeg Student], Khalilah Megan Campbell [President of the Mississauga Monarch Lions Club], Carina Mendez [Marriage and Family Ministry Director] and Myrna Lapres [Certified Family and Relationship Coach].  

WFWP Canada President Lilly Tadin’s opening remarks defined the role of the family: 
“Genuine Love cannot be discovered by external pursuits. True love and happiness are derived from experiences. People are experiencing love. Character is perfected through experiences in the family.”  

So how do we achieve the value of love in the family and community?

Peter Mubambe believes the answer to this question begins with self-love.  Self-love is not to be confused with selfishness.  Self-love is about applying the fruits of the spirit into your life.  In other words, becoming more Christ-like. The 9 fruits of the spirit are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self Control.  

Peter defines self-love as cultivating these values within yourself with sincere effort, especially if you are going to ask this of others.  Once these values are cultivated within yourself they can be naturally extended to the family and community.  

“We need to love and consider ourselves as a treasure to our family and community” - Peter Mubambe

To achieve the value of love in a family we need to harmonize the four stages of love.  The first of these is known as Filial Piety.  This is the service and attendance to parents by children through self-control and goodness.  The second of these is Sibling Love. This stage of love is characterized by respect and sharing with one's siblings. The third is Conjugal Love.  This love is developed between spouses and requires sacrifice, self-control, and patience. The fourth and final stage is Parental Love.  The love that is developed between parents and children, requires sacrifice.  Since the family is the basic unit of society, by natural extension a family that cultivates the highest quality of love can extend this to their community.  

Myrna Lapres teaches others how to develop the fruits of the spirit through connection with others in relationships. She calls this connection the space between.  

She showed the participants a social experiment called The Still Face Experiment.  It shows a mother and a baby interacting.  When the mother provides positive inputs towards the actions of the child, the child responds with positivity and when the mother does not show any response to the child for the same actions, the child begins to become very uncomfortable to the point of tears.  The video shows the mother and child working to coordinate their emotions and attention from the very beginning of life.  

“The Space Between is sacred.  When we look to see God / the good in each other, we can create love, connection, kindness, hope and joy.” - Myrna Lapres

Myrna believes the natural process of growth and maturity was interrupted and then the spiritual and emotional development of humankind was arrested. As a certified family and relationship coach she provides professional methods for reconnection through the practice of unconditional love.  

Carina Mendez believes the way to develop love in our family and community is through attachment.   Attachment is a feeling of love or a strong connection to someone or something. Carina recommends a three-step method defined by Mary Ainsworth, a researcher who experimented to analyze and define types of attachment between infants and their caregivers.  The three steps to creating a secure attachment are:  1. Sensitivity 2. Attunement 3.  Delight.
Secure attachment will result from a strong sensitivity and attunement between the caregiver and the infant resulting in delight; a feeling of great pleasure, satisfaction or happiness.  

Khalilah Megan Campbell believes the conceptualization of love is unique to each family.  

“Love is not the destination, but the journey.” - Khalilah Megan Campbell

To improve the quality of love in the family Khalilah suggests faithfulness, understanding, active listening, showing appreciation, patience and forgiveness.  She recommends moments of togetherness to create strong bonds.  Here are some actions that she suggests will improve the quality of love in the family:

Handwritten expressions of love.
Help with Chores
Breakfast in Bed
Dedicated time with each family member
Being physically present
Celebrating Milestones
Creating family traditions like movie nights
Respecting Individuality and boundaries
Expressing Emotions
Leading by example

She recommends community service as a way to extend love to the community.  

The event concluded with a question period and an invitation to next month’s event celebrating International Women's day.  

Our next WFWP Canada Event:
March 23, 2024 - International Women’s Day Celebration